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How Do I Find an Accountability Partner?

If you know us here at Overcome you know that we push accountability groups A LOT! We do this because we know, if done right, they work. We have written articles on how to set up a group and have briefly mentioned this topic but we haven’t given it much time. So here it is. Here are some steps to take when looking for an accountability partner. Every group starts when someone finally breaks the silence and asks for help and then you reach out to more people who need help. So where do you start? Which friend do you reach out to first?

Close friends

These would be the people you are around the most. The people that you call when you have good/bad news. Close friends are the gut reaction as to who we reveal the most intimate details about our life to and so these are definitely a good choice to start at. But what if all of your close friends are of the opposite sex or if you feel too embarrassed to bring this up with people you will see all the time?

Old friends

Think back to high school or college. What are some friends that you had that you have now grown apart from? These friends might be easier to confess to because you don’t have to see them every day but you had a strong connection with them in the past. You can cut out the information about who you are and what you’re like because they already know. Now you can just jump right into asking for some help. Who knows? They might need help too.

Church members

You might have had someone come forward to confess a sin of lust in the past or maybe it’s just a gut feeling you have about someone who might struggle the same way you do; ask that person. You might feel like they will judge you but chances are if you do it right they will be willing to help you. The climate for talking about porn in the church is getting better, but it is still pretty hostile so make sure you ease into this one, for now.


Church ministers have kind of gotten a bad rap over the years but it is our hope that this gets better. We want to help educate more preachers out there of how to help people with porn addiction so maybe a good introduction to your conversation with them is to just point them towards our site and ask them what they think about it.


We have helped many people in the past set up groups of their own and we have even allowed people to come into our group that meets over Skype. Please let us know if you need help and we will do what we can to get it to you.

I hope this helps you in your search for an accountability partner. You might notice that a spouse is not listed on here and there is a reason for that. In my next article I’ll discuss why a spouse is a poor accountability partner.

Until next time, stay strong!

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